Self love takes a hot minute to come to in all comfortableness, and by no means do I think that anyone has it down perfectly, or even close to perfectly. But we try our hardest every day: and that’s what counts. Okay yeah you might resonate with these words a little bit, but be patient and stay with me here. Your mindset might change by the time you’re done reading this.
The first step: truly understanding what self love means. And when I say truly understanding what it means, I mean truly understanding what it means to YOU. Not my definition, not your mom’s, your best friend’s, your neighbor’s, but what it means to you. Now, you may be thinking: self love – that’s silly. I have a boyfriend who loves me. A fiancé who loves me. Parents who love me. Friends who love me. Self love sounds irrelevant. And sure, a hip shirt looks cool and all but I’m not all about this join the movement, self-empowering, self-actualization, emotional nonsense. Let me just tell you. Sit down in your room. No friends. No family. No boyfriends. No fiancés. And think about who you are. Down to your core. Do you love every part? Are you proud of every part? Do you realize how much you can move, shake, impact this world? Do you know that the Creator of this universe thinks the world of you? Do you think the world of yourself?
By no means am I an expert sitting here telling you how to reach this level of self love. I struggle every day nonstop. But I will say: I do like to take those quiet moments and sit down in my room. Right in the middle of my bed. In my “safe place” I like to call it. The place I feel closest to Jesus. And I remind myself: you are the bees knees, kid. You spread love when you open your mouth. You’re kind when you meet strangers. You are strong and beautiful. There is not a flaw, an imperfection, a wrinkle, a patch of cellulite, some weird blonde hairs that make up your unibrow or mustache (yes that’s a thing) that doesn’t deserve every single ounce of love you can give it. Self love to me isn’t just words on a shirt. Self love is watching your four sisters at the lake doing the dang thing in their bathing suits and loving every part of themselves. Self love is watching your sweet momma love on her five baby girls floating out in the middle of the lake telling them how strong they are. Self love is sitting crisscross apple sauce and flaunting those dang stretch marks that are inevitably there. Self love is staring that acne straight in the eye in the early parts of your morning and saying: hey girl, you don’t define me today. Self love is checking out your frizzy hair or your wide hips or your dark arm hair and knowing that that may not be what society says is beautiful, but I’m gonna take each quirky part about me hug it and love it and tell it it’s beautiful. Self love is sitting up in your bathing suit and seeing that sweat squeeze out of those little love rolls and laughing to make ‘em roll a little more. Self love is realizing you don’t need someone to tell you that you’re beautiful, because gosh dangit when have you ever not been? Self love is staying in on a Friday night to dance to your quite impeccable new Spotify playlist and paint every feeling you’ve ever felt. Self love is going out on a Friday night and rocking that crop top and those tight jeans. Self love is being kind to yourself, and speaking kind words to every part of who you are. Not just your appearance, but your soul. What makes you YOU.